Wealthy, educated people are more cognizant of contemporary social norms, which means if you have such an attraction, you hide it. I recall something in the book about the sexual preferences we hide largely for cultural reasons or for fear of being judged.
Can you talk about that? If you define being in the closet as picking partners based on what society wants rather than what you want, many people are in the closet. For example, I am certain a large number of men are more attracted to overweight women than skinny women but try to date skinny women to impress their friends and family members.
Porn featuring overweight women is surprisingly common among men. But the data from dating sites tells us that just about all men try to date skinny women. They try to date the people they think would impress their friends. That says something truly awful about our cultural pathologies. People should be free to like whatever they want, but the pressures to conform are overwhelming — and ultimately unhealthy. There are a lot of single men and single overweight women who would be sexually compatible.
The desire to impress people causes all kinds of inefficiency. All right, give me a couple of unusual desires you noticed — one from men and one from women.
It is really amazing how much tastes can vary. There are women who just watch porn featuring short, fat men with small penises. There are men who just watch porn featuring women with enormous nipples.
The number one Google search in India that starts "my husband wants In just about every country, just about every Google search looking for advice on breastfeeding is looking how to breastfeed a baby.
In India, Google searches looking for breastfeeding advice are about equally split between how to breastfeed a baby and how to breastfeed a husband. After I published this finding, some journalists interviewed people in India. Everyone denied this. But I am sure, based on the data, that there are a reasonable number of adult Indian men desiring to be breastfed.
It is really amazing that this desire can develop in one country without ever being openly talked about. Japanese men have recently become obsessed with tickling porn. Yeah, basically. The data from porn tells us that everybody is weird. Thus, nobody is weird. And yet we all feel weird because we assume wrongly that no one else is as weird as we are. It would be embarrassing for 30 seconds. About 20 percent of the porn women watch is lesbian porn.
A lot of straight women watch lesbian porn. Porn featuring violence against women is also extremely popular among women. It is far more popular among women than men. I hate saying that because misogynists seem to love this fact. Fantasy life isn't always politically correct.
The rate at which women watch violent porn is roughly the same in every part of the world. Let me ask you this: Has all of this research changed how you think about sexuality in general? I have always wondered how homosexuality made it through evolution.
Like, isn't evolution supposed to make people desire heterosexual sex with fertile people? But after studying porn, I realized homosexuality is hardly the only desire that doesn't make sense from an evolutionary perspective. Less than 20 percent of porn watched these days features vaginal sex to completion among two people who can conceivably have a healthy baby. Cartoons, anal sex to completion, oral sex to completion, foot sex to completion, incest, elderly porn, tickling, animal porn, sex with objects, etc.
Statistics indicate that modern-day Victorians-conservative Christians-actually enjoy the most satisfying sex lives. Several years ago Redbook magazine ran a reader survey and found, to its own surprise, that women who tested as "strongly religious" reported greater sexual satisfaction than the nonreligious.
In fact, at the same time Miss Gebbie was delivering her blasts against conservative sexual morality, the Southern Baptists were holding a fall festival entitled "Celebrating Sex in Your Marriage. Richard Land, spokesman for the denomination, commented that Miss Gebbie seems to be equating abstinence outside marriage with a low view of sex within marriage.
But the biblical ethic does not teach a low view of sex. If Miss Gebbie would take a closer look at the Book that shapes the attitudes of those supposedly Victorian Christians, she'd find the most positive sex education program ever designed. Far from repressing sexuality, the Bible celebrates it. The Song of Solomon is a tender picture of the desire a husband and wife feel for one another. The New Testament takes this attitude even further, with Paul teaching in 1 Corinthians that husbands and wives should not deprive one another-that sexuality is an important part of the marriage relationship.
Imagine that: the Bible actually orders married couples not to deny their sexuality. Even the Bible's prescriptions against sex outside marriage are designed to make life happier. Just think of all the negative consequences young people avoid by remaining chaste: AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases; one million teen pregnancies each year; the tragedy of abortion; abandoned women and children living in poverty; and the crime that spreads like a cancer as these fatherless children grow up.
No wonder biblical morality leads to a positive view of sex. In a loving, monogamous marriage, Christians seldom have to worry about these negative consequences of sexual expression. So here's a word of advice to Kristine Gebbie from one "Victorian moralist": Read the Bible and consider all the benefits of keeping sex within marriage. It jars our world view. And seeing lots of cleavage is accepted, but seeing the bump of nipples through a shirt is not.
Unfair to those of us without cleavage! I hope to be reading your book as well, as soon as I can. Hey Shane! Thanks for the words and insight. Funny how this came up with your Shades of Grey search. Love to send you a book. Super fun and the goat does move out of the way — a bit. Many men have requested that the goat move over. I know more than one rough diamond like that Texan ancient. I did find your Swedish admirer insufferably smug and condescending, though. I wonder what your old redneck mentor would have thought of her?
Hi Steve! You will LOVE the book. I love wandering along the cultural edges. Wanna trade a Querencia for Goats and Smears? Sorry— you sounded familiar with my writing , and Miranda of Crab Diaries, an oncologist and blogger whose link sent me here and who knows me, seemed to know you.
I assumed too much and am blushing. I was just offering to trade books. I am also a blogger, and have written quite a few books. Oh yes! Now I get it. Just saw you have 6 books on Amazon.
I know Miranda just through her blog and we have a mutual admiration and a love of medicine. Excellent points. I have gone through this myself even with my incredibly intelligent and kind husband.
We are absolutely living in a sexually repressed society in the US, while at the same time displaying highly sexualized ads, billboards and movies that also often portray violence against women. I would like to live in Europe for many reasons, one being their more progressive stance on this issue, as well as better attitudes towards vacation time which leads to better worker productivity. The US has the highest teen birth rate of all industrialized nations, which I believe points out the main idea of this article as fact.
And I would love to be able to breastfeed in American without the shame that comes along with it. You get the stinkeye and have to go do it in some stinky bathroom — even then the women in there are like What the Heck?
Mark my words. So true! Wish me luck- and the money to do it. There is nothing offensive about the cover. I am sure that there is nothing offensive about your book. You are the daughter of a Pathologist and a Psychiatrist and you have had your fill of assembly line Medicine. You choose now to slow down and listen to each patient in the treatment room and provide detailed and quality medicine. It is a group of private practice Family docs who take the time to really listen and to provide a comprehensive service.
Your numbers are at now. I hope that your numbers grow to soon. The Doctor-patient relationship is sacred and your group respects that. I wish to let your group know that I will do more than just provide lip service to what I believe in. I have told you this privately and now I will be public.
My contact information is below:. Oh shove it. They look scary! Unfortunately, the people that need to be educated most about our bodies are the people that will not read this. Most people do judge a book by its cover. The evangelicals will have a field day. They will draw a circle around that cover, extend the legs, declare it a pentagram and with goat, well, its got to be devil worship. Sadly, most men know less about their own anatomy than they do about their wives and girlfriends.
Sadly such ignorance is not confined to sexual matters — US citizens are woefully ignorant about most aspects of life.
And here you are, trying to give people facts so that they can make better choices and be happier. Shame on you! Is god a pervert that he created women and men nude? Does he have no decency? Or was he perhaps in cahoots with the textile industry? Haha ha.. Brilliant piece. Sad but true. Sometimes when I travel to foreign cultures, this king of insecurity and shame towards our own bodies and our own humanity becomes glaringly apparent. Recently I was riding my mountain bike in the heart of the bible belt, South Carolina..
I came off the trail near some ball fields and the local little league was playing a game.. One little boy about 5 or 6 looks at me and says.. I thought to myself, why is this even an issue..
The more I got to thinking about it, the more it occurred to me. In this culture, sexual perversion and shame has become so commonplace or seems so because of the media, danger and sexual predators are all around us and that has become how parents raise their children..
Contrast this experience the last time I was visiting Asia. I had an apartment and kept passing a lady with a baby stroller when going up the stairs.
One day I was outside the building waiting on my landlord and she comes out with the stroller. She gets about 10 feet away in the parking lot and stops as if she forgot something. She wheels stroller around, pushes it me, I grab it.
Then she goes back inside the building for 10 minutes then comes back outside says thank you, grabs the stroller and goes on her way. There was a little girl inside about 2 or 3. That would never happen here. I have a theory.. I grew up in the heart of the Appalachian bible belt in Southwestern Virghina. I moved to NYC when I turned I ran away from what I thought to be an insanely repressive community.
I recently told my husband from Rochester NY about the hoochie coochie girls at the county fair when I was young.
These ladies would stand outside the tent in scantily clad clothing luring men to pay for a ticket to see more of them inside. When telling my husband about this, he was blown away that such a repressed community so obsessed with the bible would have striptease shows at their county fair.
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